Thursday, November 8, 2012

Missing Home

I think everyone misses home at some point when they're in college, maybe more than once. I know a lot of college students who talk to their parents, siblings, or friends everyday. We start missing home, our old lives, our friends, our family. I think it's normal and refreshing. When you think back to all those moments when you couldn't wait to get the heck out of there and couldn't wait to be out on your own, you realize that growing up is not all it's cracked up to be. You start wishing you could rewind time, where everything was easier and adulthood seemed so far away. You start feeling homesick because you miss what used to be. It's a whole lot easier when there's no responsibility and nothing to worry about. Most of us would rather spend our lives in that little bubble than take on being an adult. But at some point, we all grow up. We grow apart, we grow as people, we move on and let go of the past. It's life. It's what we're supposed to be doing. But we all feel, at some point, that nostalgia, that moment of total depression. Most people wouldn't admit it to others that they want to go home, that they miss their parents, that they miss their town. I think that a lot of the kids who live in the dorms are the ones who'd had the most desire to leave. Small-town kids who don't want small-town futures. If you ask a college student if they'd ever missed their parents while they were away, and they say no, it's probably a lie. 
I'm going home tomorrow, and it's only been a week and a half since I've been home. But it was enough. Most people would tell me I'll get over it. Maybe they'll tell me I just can't do it on my own. Maybe they'll make fun of me for needing my mom. If only they knew the half of it. The main reason I was so worried about being away from home was because of my dog. He's 13 years old, and he's my best friend. I've had him since I was a little kid, and this has a been a big change for the both of us. Because he's old and growing weaker, I've been nervous and scared to leave him for too long. But he's not the only reason I want to come home. I'm an independent person, and this has been an out-of-my-comfort-zone experience. I've never liked going to camp and living with strangers. And those only last about a week! This has been a huge change for me, and a completely new experience. I was apprehensive coming into this, knowing how much this would be uncomfortable in the beginning. After being here for three months, I've made good friends with my roommates, and I'm truly glad I decided to face my fears. My last reason? I miss my mom. Truly. We were never the best of friends growing up, but we've had to change our attitudes after a really tough tragedy. It brought us closer together than ever before. She's the greatest and strongest woman I know. I really needed her after the first few weeks, and she convinced me to stay. I call her up at least once a day, just to talk and let her know that I need her. I don't think I ever let her know how much I needed her before. She's been the most tremendous help since I moved in. 
I miss home. I miss my family. I miss my dog. But would I leave this place if I could? No. Why? Well, I'm leaving you with a quote. "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone." -Neale Donald Walsch. I really believe that. If you don't face your fears and live life to the fullest, then what are you living for?
Now that I've rambled on about something that I've been thinking about, I'll stop. I've got a quiz to study for and a speech outline to start. No more procrastination for this college student! ;)