Saturday, May 4, 2013

My Passion: Writing

As a child, were you a dreamer with an imagination that rivaled Walt Disney's? I know I was. I always had new stories in my head, even as a child. I even had an imaginary friend, although I'm not sure if I remember her name, or the amount of things that I talked to her about. I don't even remember why I made up an imaginary friend, either. What was my point again? Oh.. That's right. My overactive imagination. 

In school, especially, I'd find myself daydreaming. It's hard for a child with a vast and wondrous imagination to focus on learning and the teacher talking. I have trouble focusing on lectures in college, too. I can always catch myself when I zone out, but sometimes it's hard to pay attention. And then it's the end of class, and I'm sitting there thinking, "what in the world did my professor just talk about?" It's a problem.

But it's never been a problem when it came to my stories. I've always had ideas floating around in my head, and I started typing up my stories when I was in middle school. Even back then, I had my goal set on becoming a writer. But I also knew that being just a writer would never be an option. And it never was, because I knew, even then, that it would always be a second career, a hobby, a passion. Unless you're J.K. Rowling or Nora Roberts, you're probably not going to make a living as a writer. And most of the writers I know of have jobs, spouses, kids. They have lives, and they just write for the fun of it. There are also writers who try to make a living off of their work, but it's such a long process to get published and noticed that it takes the fun out of why they started writing in the first place. It frustrates them to the point where they can't find their passion for it anymore.

One day, I want to publish. It's on my bucket list. I don't care if only one person reads my book, or hundreds. I want to publish, and I'm going to try my hardest to do that. I want to actually finish one of my many and vastly different novels, even if I only finish one of them. But I want to see them in print and in the hand's of passionate readers, like so many of my family members. I thank God for them everyday, and for the passion of reading and writing that they gave me. 

I think I'm even out of my writer's block. Yesterday, I brought up so many documents and started reading through some of my started novels (well, let me just call them stories, because a 'novel' is a finished book). I loved going back through some of these and editing (because even I make mistakes--I'm a grammar Nazi, and I can't stand errors). My favorite, the one that I'm furthest on, is a romantic mystery. It's also part of a series, and I have ideas plotted out for the next two books. I'm over 30,000 words, which is impressive for me. I've never considered myself ADD, but my attention span for writing is not good. At all. I'll start something, and then I'll think of something else. I switch back and forth between stories so much that I sometimes forget where I'm going with the story-line. It's also a habit I'm trying really hard to break. But if I don't write my thoughts down, I'll forget them. I almost want to post a little excerpt from the one I'm working on, but it makes me nervous to do that online, especially when I know that people might not even read this post. What's the point of being disheartened when no comments show up?

Wow. This post is extremely long, and I'm not even sure I'm done with my thoughts yet. I don't know exactly where this is going, but I don't care. It's nice putting my thoughts down, even if no one sees them. 

My point, I think, is that I'm a writer. I have a passion for it and an imagination that has made me a daydreamer, one who is always far up in the clouds, away from reality and stuck on the current book she's reading. I never stop thinking; I never stop wondering. And I will never give up my passion. After going through so much, I always wondered if it would push me away from what I loved most. Instead, it became my escape. It became the one place where my mind could shut off and take me away from reality. 

I'm hoping to finish a book this summer. But it's probably not going to happen. Not because I don't want it to, but because I can't discipline myself to just sit down and write. Something always comes up or takes me away from my laptop. And I loathe writing stories down on notebook paper, unless it's the only thing that I have on me, and I just can't let my train of thought go before I forget it. I also don't have enough time in the day to do all the things I want to do. 

That was a lot of rambling. And now that I'm done talking about how much I want to publish when I'm older, it just makes me want to start working on this mystery that is just so cool to me. Maybe I'll hit 100,000 words by the time summer ends. That, in and of itself, would be a major accomplishment for me. I don't think I've ever hit that much, but I've come close before, with a story that will always be dear to my heart because it was the first one that I ever tried to finish. 

If you're a writer, like I am, don't give up. Ever. Don't let your frustration and the disheartening comments you get from publishers and other people ruin your passion and happiness that you get out of writing a story. Even if no one ever reads it, you will. And if you love it, what else matters?