***DON'T READ THIS IF YOU HAVEN'T READ ALLEGIANT! SPOILERS ABOUND! YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!***
I thought, before I started writing this post, that I should warn my readers. I don't want to spoil the most shocking and devastating ending I've ever read in a book. In a series that I love so much. And yes, it was DEVASTATING. It was HEARTBREAKING. It was nothing like I had imagined, or anyone else had imagined, for that matter. No one had predicted this. No one had wanted this ending. Except the author.
Dear Veronica Roth,
I'm not mad. I'm just confused, and my heart is broken and devastated by the ending. I feel like I lost a loved one. When Cara told Tobias that Tris didn't make it, I started crying. And all the while, I was thinking that it was a joke. Surely you wouldn't be that cruel. But after I realized it was true, that Tris wasn't in a hospital room recovering, that she wouldn't wake up, I became numb. Yes. Numb. I just wanted to end this misery as soon as possible, so I rushed through the last thirty or so pages. And yes, I was mad. I was, like I said, devastated to hear that one of my favorite young adult heroines had sacrificed herself, even if it was to save her brother. But, Veronica, I'm more confused than upset about it. I can deal with heartbreaking endings. Obviously, I love my HEA endings and I would have loved for one of my favorite book couples to be together forever. But it doesn't have to happen for me to love a book. But what hurts me the most is that I just don't understand why you killed Tris off. I have never read a book where the author killed off her main character. But what was the point to it? What were you trying to accomplish? Was it because you wanted to stay true to the story-line and the idea of sacrificing yourself for love? I get that, except it doesn't make sense considering how the book ended. It should have been more about Tris and less about Four, if you were really making this all about her. Then, that confuses me because I'm left wondering why you gave Four his own POV. So, the ending was really about him? Was it that he had overcome all four of his fears? Then why would the first two books have only been in Tris' POV? Like I said, Veronica. I'm just so confused.
Guys, I just don't know what to think. On one hand, I respect Veronica Roth for writing that kind of ending, when she KNEW that people would be upset about it. She stuck to her guns, and she wrote the kind of ending she'd always known would come. But, I'm still confused as hell as to why it was necessary to kill off Tris. I get it; war is bad and lives are lost. But so many lives have been lost already that one more didn't have the same impact. And it didn't have much of an impact for me, although I loved Tris dearly. I think that is partly due to the fact that after realizing her death was true, I became numb. So, her death just didn't hit me as hard as it should have. And that also left the ending not impacting me as hard as it did for others. Because I was so miserable and sad, I just didn't care to finish. But I knew I had to, for I was definitely NOT going to leave this book unread. It has been my most highly anticipated book of 2013. And I'm left feeling disappointed and with mixed emotions.
Since I was young, I have always known this: Life damages us, every one. We can't escape the damage. But now, I am also learning this: We can be mended. We mend each other.Those are the last words before the acknowledgments in Allegiant. And I'm left wondering, again, what point there was to killing off the main character. Four still could have learned this without Tris dying! I just... I don't understand.
I'm not taking her death well, but it's more than the fact that I'm so heartbroken that her and Four don't get a happily-ever-after. I just don't think it was necessary! I think the book could still have had the same impact it did if someone else had died, or if even no one had died. Because when the factions resolved their issues so fast, it left me angry that Tris' death was for nothing. Yes, she saved everyone's memories. But the rest of the conflict died out after that, and I just don't believe that that was possible considering how power hungry Four's parents were. I liked having the ending where I saw what happened to the factions and when the conflict was resolved. But, like I said, I just didn't care. It ceased to matter to me. And yes, I think the ending was dragged out, even with my numbness. I think, considering how much Tris meant to everyone and how much this series resolved around her, that the last few pages should have been about her. That it should have been more about her struggles and decisions, and not the fact that Four will move on without her. Because I don't even wanna think about that...
Even with my dislike of Veronica's decision, and even though I still can't stop thinking about the unfairness of it all, I loved the book! Throughout all of it, it still impacted me and hit me hard. And her ending has me thinking about everything, and I love it when authors can do that. Make me stop and think, make me feel like I'm not finished with the book even though I turned the last page. I'm sure I'll still be thinking long and hard about this one long after I've read it.
Am I the only one who feels this way? Am I the only one who doesn't understand why Veronica killed off one of the most beloved heroines I've ever had the pleasure to read about? Is it just me? Am I so caught up in Tris' death that I can't see the point right in front of my face? Please, someone, enlighten me!
I'm not going to cry about it anymore; I'm not going to send Veronica a death threat to make her rewrite the ending. In my perfect world, Tris and Four would be living happily-ever-after. But I'm not Veronica Roth, and I don't know what went on inside her head when she wrote this story. Fact of the matter is, I'm going to push it from my mind and possibly reread Divergent, just so I can stay happy with the fact that Tris and Four are together. Plus, it's still my favorite of the whole series. But it'll probably make me cry knowing that she dies at the end. However, I'm just content to stay in my own little world, where everything is all rainbows and sunshine and happy endings.
Don't judge me.
Dear Veronica Roth,
No, I don't understand your decision. But oddly enough, I'm okay with it. I respect how you ended Allegiant. Thank you for creating this series, because it's one of my favorites ever. And Tris and Four are two characters who will always have a special place in my heart. <3Love,